Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
