We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
