D3 body, D1 cock
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
