how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
