Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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