I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
