first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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