How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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