I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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