Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
