the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
