you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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