i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
