I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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