I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
