i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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