I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
