just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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