there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
