Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
