I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize