There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
