you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
