I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
