Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
