Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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