dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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