Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
