I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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