when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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