I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize