wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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