the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
