My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
