He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize