I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need water and some morals
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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