And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
