Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
