Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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