I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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