Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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