So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
