just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
how does that bad decision feel?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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