Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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