You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I lost the right to judge tonight
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
