weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
