it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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