"it" just moved
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize