now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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