'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize