do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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