"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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