Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
false alarm. still invincible.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
