I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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