I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
