he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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