At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I deserve this hangover.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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