I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
