Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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