I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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