I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
