Pappa wants mamma naked
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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