Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
