He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
