i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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