i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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